Five Things

Although it's usually awash with chaos and mayhem, I really do enjoy dinnertime at our house. Paula and I are home from work, the girls are home from daycare, we all have long days behind us. Everyone unwinds. The dog runs around the house, excited that there's people in the house and the cats scatter into the corners. Many times one of the girls gets some quality time in the time out corner for doing something she ought not to. Despite all the insanity, we're together, and happy to be together. Food is being prepared, music is playing, well-needed glasses of wine are had by the adults, well-needed cups of juice are had by the thirsty children who are coloring with gusto in the few minutes before dinners is served. And I can't think of a place that I'd rather be than back home with my crazy, chaotic family after a long day away.

I was visiting Mom and Dad a few years back, way back when I was living as a bachelor in Seattle. Dad was preparing dinner in his elaborate manner: a half-dozen pans simmering on the stove, classical music pumping through the stereo, and a full glass of red wine at hand. He sang along to the music and made a big production of every step in the process. More than anything else, I think he loved having an audience while he cooked. He'd chop herbs and toss them into the sauce from behind his back with a flamboyant twist of his hand and kick of his foot for added flair. I'd sit at the kitchen bar and watch; it was performance art. If Mom happened by, he'd take her hand and try to get her to dance. He was in his element. While he cooked, he told me one of his "secrets" to a good life. He said, "There's four—wait—five things you need to have a good life." So very like Dad to make up his "secret" at that moment.

Sure, I'm game. What are these five things?

He went on to tell me that one needed to have 1) an appreciation for the culinary arts, or at least a palette to appreciate good cooking, 2) an appreciation of good wines and spirits (Mom might have rolled her eyes at this one), 3) artistic skill, or an appreciation of the arts. 4) musical skill, or an appreciation of good music, and 5) family and friends to enjoy all of these things with. He emphasized that this last secret was the most important of all, without which the other four didn't count for much.

None of these things were very secret on their own, but as a collection, and coming from Dad, they have come to be a secret recipe with which I've learned to live my life. 10 years later, standing in my own kitchen with my own family, I can take inventory of where I'm at and be satisfied that I'm integrating all of life's secrets bestowed upon me by Dad.